timeless

Having now been back in the States for a little over three weeks, the more my London life feels...intangible.

I spent two months in London and it was filled with new friends, explorations, umbrellas, accents, church, and simply just growing. How can something so tangible at the time feel so intangible now?

The recent time home has been needed, relaxing, and an opportunity for me to regroup. I spent last weekend getting my new room in my new house ready for living :) THAT made this upcoming year start to feel...well...tangible. The get-togethers and holiday parties along with nightly hang outs with my housemates are all coming up so soon.

The excitement for what is to come has already set in, but I also catch my self reminiscing on this past summer--my time spent abroad. My thoughts are often something like this:

"I must keep in touch with my London friends. How can I make my time there not feel like just a dream? Will I ever go back? This is the time when I normally would be a) going to church, b) going to a group meeting, or c) popping into a museum after some shopping in Oxford Circus."

Isn't it interesting how something at the time can feel so real, so promising, so...tangible and then just three weeks later feel like a dream, a distant memory, so...intangible?

Although it's easy and natural for my emotions to dictate my thoughts, I must hold on to what I know is timeless: God and His word.

My times are in Your hand;- Psalm 31:15

The grass withers, the flower fades, but the word of our God stands forever.- Isaiah 40:8

You, O Lord, are our Father; Our Redeemer from Everlasting is Your name.- Isaiah 63:16

What things in your life feel tangible and intangible to you at this moment?

"fearfully and wonderfully made"

In the past 48 hours, I have gone to:

-the ENT (ears, nose, and throat) doctor to get scoped 

-get a hair cut

-the dermatologist

-the dentist for a routine cleaning

-the eye doctor to figure out what exactly the deal with my eyes

Results?

I chose to get scoped in order to see if I have nodes. I loose my voice REALLY easily from either frequently singing and/or talking a lot during a day. I just about passed out as the camera went down my nose to check out my vocal cords. I was as pale as a sheep. The ENT doc. said that my vocal cords look pretty good with one exception: I have one TINY nodule on a vocal cord. "It isn't anything to be alarmed about," he said, "however, the nodule has potential to grow during the next few months." In order to prevent nodule growth, I will be starting to meet with a recommended woman who will help identify more of my singing and speech patterns. She will give me exercises to practice in order to help me use healthy singing and speaking patterns to protect my vocal cords.

Haircut--fresh, fun, fab.

I will be starting micro dermabrasion tomorrow in order to reduce some acne scaring. Anyone else hate acne? 

Teeth: overall, "looking good."

Remember this pink eye ordeal I have been writing about for over a month? Welp, I found out yesterday that it was never pink eye. My eye doctor took a deeper look and found a scar on my left eyeball due to a corneal ulcer. The redness was actually my eye trying to fight off the bacteria. WHAT?! I'm back wearing glasses y'all. Treatment? Eye drops. Four times per day. Ten days. Goal? To reduce inflammation so that I can be fitted for contacts...sometime... in my life again. 

My mind wondered about all the negative things that could possibly come from my one tiny node, my one scar on my eye, my few scars on my face, and a couple teeth potentially putting my bite at risk. The the emotion set in--frustration. 

I had to be real with God. I took a second in my car and expressed my frustration, not with Him, but with all the feedback I had gotten in the past 48 hours concerning things from my neck up. Then, the Lord expressed something to me. I heard and felt his love for my spirit inside & my heart's beauty. The feeling set in--peace. 

"For man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart." -1 Samuel 16:7

"I will praise [Him], for I am fearfully and wonderfully made." -Psalm 139:14

Psalm of Thanks

Without diminishing every day's need for great thanks, I can't help but express my gratefulness for this day. You see, today happens to be my dad's birthday. As I spent time last night writing his card, I realized one thing: I am easily brought to tears when thinking about all my dad provides for me, all the time he devotes to me, and all the love he gives to me. I am so thankful for my father's wisdom and guidance that he freely exudes. He displays such selflessness and expresses his need for Christ's grace. 

For this birthday occasion, my whole immediate family went to church together and had a wonderful grilled lunch--burgers, chicken, & hot dogs. Yum. The giving of gifts, cards, and hugs all made this day truly warm. Yes, the heat index today is 126 degrees (WHAT is HAPPENING?!), but there is nothing like the warmth of your family's love. Simple and what some may call, "cheesy", but y'all...you know it's true. 

Thanks to my pastor's message this morning, I now have a better understanding of what it means to sing a new song daily. No, not using my vocal chords, but positioning my heart so that it is pointed towards the Lord. Every day holds trial and discouragement--guaranteed, but with our minds set on the Spirit (Romans 8:5) and our hearts seeking engagement with our reigning Lord (Psalm 96:10), the reward will come. 

Psalm 96

                 v.1 Sing to the Lord a new song; sing to the Lord, all the earth. 

                 v.2 Sing to the Lord, praise his name; proclaim his salvation day after day. 

My father here on Earth is an absolute blessing. Our father in Heaven is continually blessing us. For we are called to sing a psalm of thanks (1 Chronicles 16) each day to our loving God. 

Who in your life is a blessing from God?